An Example of Idiocracy in Jordan::Define Whore::

Today was the final straw. I got so ticked off and I’m ready to make it my life mission to wipe out Jordan for good.  Let me start from the beginning.

 A few weeks ago I was walking down the hill from my house going in the direction of the main road to catch a taxi to the university.  A huge SUV passed by me going slowly.  Then out of my line of sight it turned around and passed by me again. I noticed it because the driver’s plate had only three numbers on it and because the car was so big. It crossed my mind that the guy in it was lost. 

The car passed by me again this time going in my direction.  He stopped and rolled down the passenger side window as I passed the car.  I thought maybe he’d ask me for directions as I’d had that before. But no the guy, who was stinky and gross and was smoking a cigar, asked me if I wanted to go anywhere. I ignored him and kept walking but I was ready to turn around and bash his head in because I knew exactly what he meant and wanted.

I shrugged it off but I was pretty angry.  A friend of mine had stuff similar to this happen to her a few times before, so it didn’t come to me as a surprise.  I never had faith in men before so they just proved to me that I should never have faith in them to begin with.

So why was today the last straw? Why of all days do I chose today to make me snap and actually write about it?

I went out at 4pm today to go tutor a few kids. I finished at 7:30 and decided I would walk the few miles to the gym where my mother and sisters would finish their Bodypump class at 8.  I figured I’d have a good chance of getting there just around the time my family finish.  It was already dark and I tried to stay on the sidewalk but most of the time was stuck walking on the side of the street against traffic. 

First I was in a residential area and a very clean dark BMW passed me by going in the other direction.  It slowed down when it neared me and then kept going. I didn’t think much about it but I did notice that it slowed down right when I came in sight and flashed his lights. And there was no car in front of it so it didn’t need to slow down at all.  Then it turned around behind me and stopped just right in front of me. I passed the car and ignored it.  Then it passed me again and waited in front of me a few yards in front of me.  He rolled down his window and waited. I then knew for sure what he was and crossed the street. When he saw me do that he pulled out and drove away.

And that is how I started walking against traffic.  I swear another 9 cars I’m positive about slowed down and flashed their lights at me. Some rolled down their windows and said stuff towards me that I didn’t catch. A few honked and halted to a stop right in front of me so I’d have to pass and I’m positive waited for me to hop in but since I didn’t do that and passed them by- they sped off.

All the cars were BMWs or Mercedes. All were clean and pretty brand new.  Even one man in his sparkling Mercedes had his window down when I passed him from the driver’s side (since there wasn’t a side walk on the other side and they were busy with a construction site on that side) and the old guy said quietly when I passed him ‘Yes’idny Hal Shafayef’ which could be translated to something like ‘Yow! look at those lips.’ but it could also means a few worse things.

It took me a while to register what he had said but once it sunk in what it had meant I was ready to go back and beat the old pervert up.  A few more cars hooted and honked and slowed down for me before I got to my destination which took me 45 minutes.

And no I’m not exaggerating. At least 20 cars honked when they passed by me but only ten of them I’m sure of had the intention of picking me up.

The thing that makes me so angry is I don’t even dress like a slut. I’m completely covered from head to toe. All that is even visible is my face and my hands.  And even my face is half covered because of the way I wear my scarf.

So seriously what defines a whore over here? When a girl dresses so conservatively and the jerks out here are still trying to pick her up- what does she do? Ignore it and just feel disgusted at what man has become? If I had a gun I’d have put a bullet between every one of those perverts’ eyes and ripped a few things out while I was at it.

Advertisements

50 Responses to “An Example of Idiocracy in Jordan::Define Whore::”

  1. you go girl! let me know when you go about ripping things up, ive got a few things to take care of myself…my mom always wishes she had a gun too.. :p

  2. A whore is the guy in the car:)

  3. Next time some does that tell him that his sister is looking for him. you must be super hot though……:)

  4. this is probably from people who’ve lived in iraq and the gulf in general, thats one of their most pathetic hook-up ways and probably jordanians are copying now to look cool, what about guys who stop for other guys? boylovers.. it is pathetic everywhere in the middle east dear, if not the surroundings as well. so don’t get shocked. ignore it and live, need pepper spray?

  5. moey…yeah i could use some pepper spray and a gun too. i dont care where it’s spread out to and where it’s coming from. I’ve NEVER had to deal with any of this crap when i was in the states and where else do I have to be subjected to this other than a supposedly Muslim country. and yup you bet im gonna ‘just live’ im outta this God forsaken country and it’s ‘surroundings’.

    and whoever you are habchawi…you must be one of those perverts (even if you dont actually try and get a girl to get into your car you’re just as bad in my opinion). Thats probably all you were thinking about when you read my post…that’s pathetic.

    Mohannad…thanks that actually made me feel better and so true.

  6. This is despicable. I wrote a post earlier today, in a bit of a joking manner, about how I refuse to walk in Amman, especially not alone. Reading this post of yours made me want to hug my own post to me and link it with yours and take both posts around and say to people, ” SEE?!?! SEE!??!?! When we say something like this, we have GOOD REASONS TO BACK IT UP!” If you don’t mind, I’m going to go back to my own post, add an update, and link to what you have just written. Who knows, it might be a tiny step in trying to eradicate this crap we have to put up with. Eft.

  7. Go ahead Hal. And if you want add the link to your post over here too in the comment area.

  8. Omg that’s crazy!! Well hun, I dunno where this sudden craziness is comin from cuz it never happened to me wen I was there, nor did I hear it happening to any1 I knew. Perhaps it’s some kinda new code for guys to pick up prostitutes?

  9. Moey I know that this is very common in the khaleej unfortunately. but Amman has had jerks like those twenty drivers all along. Although it is not written in stone, but you (girls) really need company walking at night in Amman or even taking a cap. I used to walk in the Mojama3 Jaber area with my cousin few years ago for Frosty’s and it was a disgusting experience as a teenager.

  10. tell u what? i’d be walking my huge dog at 7 am in the morning and i have all sorts of comments and “howls” from men who are supposedly driving on their way to work.
    at one point a man in a BMW started to bark at me and my dog (driving my poor dog insane) infront of the egyptian laborers which made THEM very angry that they started to yell at the stupid driver themselves.
    sometimes these people make me feel like i so want to accidentaly lossen my grip on the leash.
    see what happens.

  11. DV, I am SO sorry!! But, I am not surprised. I am middle-aged, darn it and get the comments, the eye, the slow down, the flashing…even when I have my little ones in my car. How sad that my kids have to see the very worst side of male Jordanian humanity this way…and believe me, it colors their view of Jordan.

    One visitor told me she could never live my life, as I only exist behind bars, in a car, or behind someone else’s bars. I realized it was true, I have just become used to my prison.

    I am going to pray for you today, DV. There are some great men out there, it’s just they that are busy having a life instead of cruising.

  12. ehh was this around fitness one by any chance ???

    (no i dont think am one of them hehe ) if so ……… its b/c of the area then, when you hit an area with a reputation for something … u are sure to get more of that ..
    best o’ luck in da states (tho ur heading midwest right ? )

  13. yeah it was near fitness one/ mujama jaber area… i walked all the way from the fifth circle/ um Uthaina to the gym. Something I wont be doing again I believe. And it’s interesting how many of us have had to deal with this crap. *hugs and headpats to all the girls and women who had to deal with this*

  14. Hey you. I know what you’re talking about, both my homestay mom Sabah and one of the women I interviewed (professional women, yanni, not girls) talked about how lots of prostitutes will actually dress like you dress.. It’s pretty bizarre to me. One of the students from my program before I was there did his ISP on prostitution in Jordan and the information he got was shocking, I mean really shocking. But he mentioned fifth circle as well as first circle I think(?) as being “hot spots” for that sort of activity. He would sit and just watch women dressed in full jilbab climb into just as you described – black SUV’s, usually – and disappear only to be dropped off at the same spot an hour later. It sucks a lot that even though you don’t dress in any way that is revealing or could be seen as “asking for attention,” you still get it. 😦

  15. & habchawi – what in the world made you think, after reading her post here, that saying she must be hot would be the appropriate response? Or even that it would be well-received? Show some respect.

  16. That is… beyond words. That’s disgusting. I’m really sorry you had to put up with that crap, Kloude. *hugs and headpats*

  17. Being without a car, I used to rely on public tranport and walking a lot…when I first arrived in Amman a few years ago it used to really bother me that I would get unwanted attnetion from men in the street. Eventually, after a few incidents where I actually fought back (and you’d be surprised how cowardly most of these these men are), I realized that it’s not satisfying to fight back, because I think you never feel redeemed until you chop their filthy d*cks off. Being a person of principle, I decided to keep my knives in, and just walk on by without batting an eye unless I was physically harassed. Now, I usually laugh to myself whenever I hear a comment. Once, I even coldly mocked a guy to his face while he was following me in Bayader and jerking off. What a loser, I think he went limp! Either way, I didn’t stick around to find out.
    Maybe we wouldn’t have these problems if there wasn’t such a barrier put up between the genders here…and if dating and befriending members of the opposite sex wasn’t frowned upon by most people here. I might sound like I wish that would happen eventually, but personally, I haven’t found any guys worth dating here. As for male friends, I decided that they’re also best kept at more than an arm’s length away…

  18. In Dubai women honk their cars and hoot for the guys..hehe that’s an exaggeration, but seriously it was a culture shock to see that there are parts of the world where women can freely go to a cafe alone, and not worry about whispers, stares and gawkings..

  19. Allah yahdihum. Be glad this is not Egypt. As a non-Muslim there I was constantly getting pinched in the rear at the souq and on the bus. Whenever they felt they could be anonymous. I have a friend, fully covered who had her rear pinched while making tawaf in Mecca, SO I suppose this is not going anywhere decent anytime soon. A sad sorry state for the Ummah. Salam, K Noor

  20. It boils my blood, as someone said above if you confront them they would cower like the losers they are

    I think this is what all women should do, lets start a move , we can carry paint balloons (like water balloons but filled with red paint) and whenever anybody does that throw the balloon on their windshield or expensive cars.. The assholes…ARGH.

  21. that’s horrible. 😦 I’m so sorry. *hugs*

  22. wow im glad i posted about this. I didnt know how ‘common’ this occurance is and I find it comforting that I’m not the only one that has to deal with it. But seriously why do the women here let this happen? Why haven’t they done anything to stop it? I just dont get the people here most of the time *gets frustrated*

  23. Hi again… to answer your question dragonsvamp (“why do the women here let this happen?”):
    1. Because it’s kind of pointless to do something, unless you’re looking for an interesting story to tell or 2 moments of adrenaline rush. You’re not going to change the way these men think…they’re not going to stop harassing women just because one woman spoke up or brought up the sensitive sister/mother issue. And they’re not going to stop because of stricter laws about this sort of thing. It’ll probably just become more subtle. I’m a pessimist about this sort of thing based on what I’ve seen and dealt with.

    2. because I think on some subconcious level we realize that the only people who REALLY let this happen are the WOMEN WHO COULD NOT RAISE THEIR SONS PROPERLY. Social change starts in one’s own sphere of influence. If I ever have kids then I’m resolved to make it my top priority in life to be a good mother. I swear!

  24. I think you were on the right track with thinking of getting a gun and mace. You don’t deserve to be treated like a whore.

    Also, just to put this out there, I’ve heard that eggs can ruin a car’s paint job.

  25. That is absolutely sickening, that guys would do that… I mean, when I lived in a not-so-nice part of downtown for a while, I got a few whistles and yells sometimes while walking to the university, but I never had people pulling over for me or anything! *hugs and headpats* I’m sorry that you have to go through that – hopefully you won’t have to put up with any of that crap once you get back to the States (though there are definitely places in the US just as bad; I’ve lived right by one of ’em!).

  26. I hate this place!!! and these people- God! Honest… I hate it more everyday… and it keeps getting proven over and over again my God!

  27. Eeesh Kabeesh! I haven’t been here in awhile but you still got the gab going girl!

    OMG, yeah, I totally can imagine that happening in Jordan. My brother went back in February to visit and he came back (and mind you, we had just been there in October) yelling out “Araf! (Filth!) How did we ever live there?!” It just seems to be getting worse everyday. Incredibly sad. When I come visit I don’t know what the hell I’m gonna do, I dress in t-shirts and jeans! Probably flip a few birdies and then run my butt off :-P.

    I don’t feel like the Gulf is that bad though. In Kuwait I’ve seen guys looking at girls but no real verbal comments. They’re usually sitting with their greasy fros in tight jeans and trying to look ‘cool.’ And living in the Emirates I don’t see it that much. Maybe it’s cause I tend to go out with guys or to more hip and young places. I mean, there are catcalls, but just glare – and the prostitute lane is known here :-P.

    Point is that the whole guys hanging with girls taboo isn’t the issue. It’s the lack of respect, equality, and boredom that drives these things. People don’t know how to have fun in the Mid East unless they’re gossiping or spending money at a cafe to stare at each other.

    On the other hand I’ve found a really great group that’s open-minded and hilarious cause they’ve travelled, have different backgrounds, and are down-to-Earth. I wish you could meet them! We love going to the beach, dipping our toes in the water, and karoking to oldies. That’s what real fun is about! Being yourself.

    Dude, your post, not mine – sorry :-P. Have some In-N-Out on my behalf and kiss the sky. Talk to you soon babe :-). Miss you!

  28. Rachel in Jordan Says:

    I HAVE A SUGGESTION! When I was studying for the first time in an arab part of the world our professors warned us that that kind of thing could happen and that the best thing to do was to ALWAYS CARRY A CAMERA and when it happens take it out and start snapping pictures! The thing that makes these men bold is their “SECRECY”! As soon as they understand that you have a picture of their license plates and/or faces they are likely to run off….. the only down side to this is if they decide to come for the camera because they are afraid of what pictures you might have taken…. so the gun/mace/pepper spray/ kung fo classes might come in handy as well.

  29. lol great suggestion Rachel! Scary but still a good idea. :p

  30. I’m about to believe that all guys are like that too. astaghfirallah. Absolutely sick.

  31. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWW!!!!Astaghfirullah.Bleargh,yuk,puke,vomit,barf…Are there any halfway decent lads left anywhere??!!I sympathise,mia amiga-once a guy thought I was looking at him and smiling (I was actually smiling at my friend’s conversation)and he smiled this lecherous greasy smile back-and he was a police officer on a motorbike!Ain’t no decency left in this world.Headpats!Mwahmwah

  32. omg, ive read almost all your posts and i am really shocked. i live in the UK (what a gr8 free wonderful place it is) and i ussualy go jordan for 1-2months every summer (im 14) many of my relatives live there. i agree with the comment made earlier that guys are like this due to the sepparation between men and women. i mean ive seen ‘men sitting area’ ‘women sitting area’. how are men and women even meant to find a partner if they can’t even speak to them. this is something that will shock you. i was reading a magazine and i read about gang rapes in pakistan. 12 yr old boy of one clan spoke to a 12 yr old girl of another clan and so the boys older sister was made to apologise and she got gang raped by 14 men. and whats even more sickening is that most of these women go to jail as this counts as sex before marriage. Anyway jordan is seriously f***ed up. this one time we were at a park and my sister was taking my 4yr old cousin on the ladder up to a slide and sum fat slimy shitface boy around 14 starts trying to push my sister and my 4 yr cousin off the slide. in the end this was settled in the ‘Arabic way’ my sister go gets me and my cousin my age and they go get their relatives eventualy they bring older realtives so i get my big brother and older cousin and it ends up in a big fight. i took part in it but that was to defend my sister not because im a selfish brat who would be better off dead. Also whenever i speak english to my dad in a shop the shopkeeper charges tons extra, this also happened to my friend. her mum asked the price of something in arabic and the person said 5JD then she asked in english and the women said 40JD. I find most of these arabic people are sleazy bastards, don’t get me wrong i have seen nice people in Jordan and they turn out to be really nice but never have i seen so many selfish shortchanging greedy bastards.

  33. the way i said ‘these arabic people’ kinda sounded wrong just so you know i am arabic just born in england

  34. wackacky i totally know what you mean…im half arab too but can’t help but critisize the arabs because they should be better. seriously human beings just dont act like this! They shouldn’t and just dont if they have any ounce of humanity in them. i believe most arabs have forgotten that part of them and are now just greedy animals out to win in this world and if that means they have to kill they’ll most def. do it.

    Though I haven’t noticed that much segrigation between men and woman here…they all mix and talk to each other and hang out from what ive seen. maybe in some parts they still have that but in Amman they’re pretty much doin it all.

    thanks for your imput wackacky btw 🙂

  35. Well it seems that you are beautiful 😀 okay no beating I’m just kidding!

    Yeah one of the things that really gets on nerves here in Jordan is this thing, chasing girls with cars! Honking and asking them if they wanted a ride, in another words, have sex.

    I really wonder what have come to some these days, I swear to God the sane people are dying!!! I mean I am a man but I never ever would think of doing something like that. If I am in my car and saw a beautiful lady walking in the street, I simply would do nothing. Damn the world is full perves!!

  36. Trust me, I know exactly what you’re talking about. And believe you me, it doesn’t happen to girls only. I am forced to expensing over 4 taxis a day. And I honestly dread the experience. I’ve literally had to deal with a guy touching my crouch. Countless others wanted to get “cozy”. It’s disgusting and it brings you down, but honestly, we could go on about this forever, and perhaps the only way to change this, is to actually do something about it. What suggestions do you guys have to take action against this? Clearly, going to a police station wouldn’t solve it, because you will be accused of being too revealing or compromising perhaps, and I will look, well, emasculated.

    Any suggestions?

  37. i know there isnt too much sepparation between men and women here but when i went saudi arabia god it was terrible, its a law to wear a headscarf and in most restaurants you had to sit in different areas why go for a family meal if you cant sit together. and when i go jordan this year im bring all my little pen knifes.

  38. so when are you coming to jordan? yeah thats stupid in saudi. i dont think i’d ever want to go there for a visit. it seems very stuck up and very degrading towards women.

  39. im coming this summer for 7 weeks and ur right SA is degradng to women

  40. well good luck! it’s not so bad coming for a little bit and then leaving. I always thought I wouldn’t mind that concidering the alternative of having to actually LIVE here. And keep those knives about you. I have a friend who carried a few around with her everywhere she went. She’s never had to use it before but it’s still a comfort knowing it’s around. I usually have my spike bracellet on me and that thing is SHARP and it hurts it hit against someone. so usually people take one look at that and are kinda freaked. you know a muhajaba always dressed in black with all these silver rings on her fingers, an eyebrow piercing and spike bracellets :p

  41. lol the bracelet sounds cool and i am looking forward to jordan this year i like a change in scenario and me and my bro have a good time taking the mick outa everything so it should be good and my cousins are there too so should be fun. one thing i liked about jordan was the malls they were nice. i remember once when mecca mall was new me and my bro wanted to play pool so we waited for sum fat kid to finish and he did. so i went to put my coin in and before i know it he pushed my hand outa the way and put his coin in. if my dad didnt show up then we would of done something about it like just play with his coin and pay him and if he refused then kick his ass or summit but god he was a dick.

  42. oh btw the gyms you go to are they 16+ cos all the gyms in england except the school gym is 16+ but remembering jordan they dont care about your age in anything so could a 14 yr old get into a gym?

  43. yeah the gym i go to doesn’t really care about age my 13 year old sis goes to hip hop and my (just turned 16) other sis goes to weighttraining with us and she was 15 when she started so i dont think they’ll give you a problem here with gyms and stuff. what area are you staying at? (btw if you have messenger just add me and we can chat about this off here :p its dragonsvamp@yahoo.com or dragonsgirl14@hotmail.com)

  44. hey i added your hotmail im going to amman.

  45. Just want to mention, reading your comments, that in response to the individual suggesting women raise their sons properly (z):

    Men should raise their sons properly as well. If anything, men should set the standard for their sons by being appropriate role models as far as mimicking adult behavior goes.

    It’s not all on the women’s side. PARENTS in GENERAL should raise their children well. 🙂

  46. I had this happen to me too, but I am almost 35, was holding my 10 moonth old baby, and also covered from head to toe. The guy was driving a black bmw slowing down, pulling over to the side and saying something to me. I immediately darted into a little shop and said “does anyone speak english?” the man said yes…i told him there is a man in black bmw following me, the man went out to look, and guy drove off. What would he want from me and my baby? These guys are pretty bold, and not to mention stupid.

  47. Rumpled Foreskin Says:

    I understand WHY you’re upset but I don’t have a clue why the responses are “You go girl!” and the like. With THAT many cars driving by and stopping: THEY THINK YOU’RE A PROSTITUTE! Which has NOTHING to do with you. How you look. Or anything like that. Consider if you are walking in an area where there’s a lot of prostitution.

    There IS NO reason you should be upset about it other than considering your safety. It’s a case of mistaken Identity. It’s not your fault. Has been going on since the beginning of time and will continue to. You can waste your time being angry if you like. But unless you like being angry it’s a waste of time.

    SOMETHING you can do is post some flyers on campus WARNING other women and asking for donations and assistance in collecting licencse plate numbers of the ones that actually make contact trying to solicit you. You can either take photos and post them on campus or run an ad in the newspaper.

    I mean no insult by the following. I really don’t. Before I start I’m not trying to make a legal pleading where all aspects of every possible situation have been considered and I think I’m giving you the perfect answer. NO!!! That’s not what this is about. Of course you will find flaws my argument, because I’m NOT MAKING ONE. I’m not giving you facts that I’m arguing are the why’s and wherefores for what I’m talking about. It’s just a little free advice from someone who’s been through more than yourself sheerly by years alone. So take what I say or leave it. That’s fine. I’m just so very tired of multitudes of people who seem to live to find fault in anything SOMEONE ELSE says. So to all the haters out there; I’m flawed. I’m human. It’s ok. Let it go. Be productive. Stop complaining and try to do something for someone else without expecting anything in return or trying to elevate yourself by putting someone else down. Surely there’s also going to be the hypocrisy monitor. TO you. GET A LIFE. To the English majors. Yes I know I’m a poor speller and perhaps my gramar is poor. SOW FURKING WHART! I think I got all of em. So here we go.

    It’s obvious you are very young in years and emotionally. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT. JUST THE FACT. The emotional immaturity is in trying to fault men for what women are also a part of and has been happening from the begining of humanity. There would never have been prostitution if women wern’t willing to accept something in trade for sex. If something has been going on since the beginning of time for the human race, your spending your time being angry about it is of absolutely NO BENEFIT TO YOURSELF. It won’t go away. EVER. That doesn’t mean you have to accept it. It does mean that you won’t be able to do anything about it larger than locally. I mean VERY locally. AS IN WITHIN YOURSELF. That’s the “You go girl.” Becoming the person YOU WANT TO BE BECAUSE IT’S IMPORTANT TO YOU.

    ONE OF THE WORST THING YOU CAN DO IS; Go through life making decisions as if “mood” were good guidelines. Post Modernist Exestentialism is SHIT. Do whatever you want to do because it feels good to you is some of the worst advice ever given. That is a life of letting yourself off the hook, lying, breaking promises, etc. WHEN THERE ARE NO RULES THERE IS NO INTERNAL STABILITY. LET YOUR “MOODS” AND “WHAT YOU WANT” be the guideline for your life and welcome the pain. Think more along a physics mindset. For EVERY action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Cause AND Effect. You break it you bought it. Seriously. Everything you REALLY need to have a good happy life you learned by the second grade. Good luck.

    May I extend you a warning. I was born in 1969. That means I wasn’t there for the actual womens liberation. I was witness to the following waves of FAUX FEMINISM. Feminisim was and is a good thing. The reality is that fight is over. Women won. They got what they and every other American deserves. I say American because I don’t want to go into changing the world today. There are still issues on any aspect of any subject you want to go into. That’s just life really. What you will find in time is most things not personally faught for are not respected for what they are worth.

  48. […] Most viewed (and commented) post of 2007: Define Whore […]

  49. Strange how girls on the one hand expect men to go out and seduce them, to always have them make the first move, take the initiative, and on the other hand are constantly bitching about the attention they get..
    dont get picked up, men are to blame, do get picked up, men are still to blame

    common female hypochrisy

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s