Archive for February, 2008

Uni ::Black vs. White::

Posted in My University Life with tags , , , , , on Friday, February 29, 2008 by dragonsvamp

Ever since I moved to Michigan I noticed something that has been bothering me for a while. I am not sure if this was something I’ve been around and never really noted it until now or it’s something new that’s started occurring and so I noticed. I believe the latter is true but I can’t be a hundred percent sure.

Whenever, I talk to people here and somehow our conversation heads in the direction of discussing someone I don’t know, the person I’m talking to (at least 90% of the time) will note the person they are telling me about’s skin color. This specific description is usually given within the first three adjectives said. And this really bothers me. I’ve never noticed skin color as a major thing until I came here.

I don’t remember talking to my friends in California and mentioning a person’s skin color in our discription of them. Nor do I remember having this issue in Jordan half as much as I do here in Michigan.

Why do I bring this up now? Well I was discussing how I wasn’t able to find some books at the library on a poet I would be shortly writing an 18 paged essay on, Audre Lorde. Of course no one knows who Lorde is so I said, ‘Some lesbian poet’ when asked about who I was supposed to write about. It did come in my head to mention she was black and it annoyed me that I even thought about it because it just shouldn’t matter. Now that I think about it I shouldn’t even have mentioned she was lesbian. That shouldn’t matter either. Even though the poet being black and lesbian in the mid 1900s does matter to how she was received it doesn’t matter to the people I was talking to.

Makes me think, If I’m being influenced in this way then what else is going change in me from living in Michigan?

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MI ::Miserable City::

Posted in Michigan with tags , , , , , , , , on Monday, February 11, 2008 by dragonsvamp

And there you have it. Detroit as well as Flint topped the charts coming in first and third respectively. Two cities from the same state are in the top three Most Miserable Cities in the whole of the United States. Wow! That must be a tough one to swallow for Michiganders everywhere.

It’s a tough one to swallow for a person coming into Michigan as well.

How does this affect me you say? Well for one I am very humbled by the mere fact that I was actually able to get a job within a month of arriving here. Yes, almost all of that money coming in is going straight back where it came from (i.e. college fees and taxes) but that’s beside the point.

Though I’m really happy I actually have a job and didn’t have a hard time finding it, I also am aware of how easily I can loose that job. This makes it even harder and more stressful. I have this job now but will they hire me next school year? Will the school even need me? That’s something I have to think about all the time.

Because, frankly, if I don’t have a job there’s no way I’ll be able to complete my education. I refuse to fall into the trap of taking loans. I have no guarantee that I will be able to secure a job when I graduate to pay back the loans and so I would rather stay away from them.

This added strain does not help. Not one bit. It’s probably the reason why I grind my teeth at night and seem to never be able to relieve that elusive tension just between my shoulder blades.

This is one rat not happy in the never ending cycle of a rat race called life.

But then again define happy. To me being happy is being able to pay your bills every month without the fear of finding out your bank account is empty. Happy is having (or working towards) a job/career that cheers you up and is something you mostly (never always because that’s not realistic) look forward to. Happy is being content and secure with and in the life you lead. And happy is most definitely being content in who you are and in your place in this world.

With this definition of ‘happy’ I doubt there’s many that can say they are so. I know that if I keep the way I am I will be able to attain (inshaAllah) the majority of those points (right now I barely have one of them in my pocket). But life is fickle so most of the time we end up just going with the flow. This sometimes causes us to loose sight of what happiness is. And that’s when, before you know it, you’re life has passed you by and you just had no idea what hit you.

Muse ::All American Girl::

Posted in Music Review with tags , , , , , on Monday, February 11, 2008 by dragonsvamp

Carrie Underwood, the new Idol pop sensation, has a new(?) song out.  It’s called The All American Girl.  

Personally I think they forgot the ‘white’ part. It should be revised to ‘All American WHITE Girl’.

But that’s just me.

Viola! ::Steak::

Posted in Food with tags , , , , , on Monday, February 11, 2008 by dragonsvamp

Logan's

A few days ago, I went with two of my coworkers to Logan’s. It’s a really nice steakhouse where you can eat as many peanuts as you want and throw the shell wherever you want too. They also have the best bread rolls ever. And those get replenished as soon as the basket is empty and they’re always warm.

I decided I would not order my usual salad as the main meal and try something new. They were both ordering the 6 oz steak. I figured I would try it out as well. It was really good but so dang hard to finish. The steak came with two sides of choice. I got a salad (yes I had to get a salad) and mac and cheese. But boy was it hard to finish that steak.

By the time I had finished two thirds of it, I decided we need a smaller option.

4 oz sounds just right and I think the salad bowl should be a bit bigger.

Maybe it’s just me because whenever I get the salad from Quizno’s I seem to always end up with a bowl full of chicken and no lettuce or tomatoes left.

I guess I just prefer less meat and chicken in my food.

Maybe I should just stick to ordering salads.

In Love ::(Take 1)::

Posted in In Love with tags , , , , , , , on Sunday, February 10, 2008 by dragonsvamp

I’m in love….

Kindergarten
My kindergarten class snowman project. I got a bit carried away I think.

boots
My other boots died on me so I figured what the hell I’ll just get the ones that have been begging me to buy them since I laid eyes on them. Hot topic is awesome.

chocolate
I’m sure these are super expensive but I can’t help myself. I got my first taste of them at a friend’s house. And then a few weeks later someone gave me a whole box of them. Two mega bags in each box. I still haven’t finished the first bag. But I must say that’s one of the best chocolates I’ve ever had.

chocolate #2
If you want to bribe me, you know what to use as bait. Enough said.

coke
Not very proud of this one, I must say. A waste of good money but I can’t seem to stop.

ice
Love it.

snow
Snow is beautiful. At least I think so. But for some reason I don’t think I can last around it for too long. It’s pretty to visit but not to live in. I guess I’m just a Cali girl to the core.

(Those are the loves in my life so far. I’ll keep updating it whenever the list grows and whenever I remember things that have become such a major part of my life that I don’t notice anymore. They are in no specific order.)