Finally: Understanding

Almost a year ago a very close and dear friend of mine cut me out of her life. Completely. She didn’t want to talk to me or hear from me.  I couldn’t understand. What had I done that was so bad that could cause what we had to completely fall apart? And not only fall apart but cause the person who I knew I could confide in with anything not ever want to talk to me again? 

I didn’t understand and wouldn’t for almost a year.

I recently have done the same to a once very close and dear friend of mine. A person I was willing to create a life with.  A person I loved.

Now I realize why my first friend cut me out of her life.  I was suffocating her- our friendship suffocated her. Until she could handle it no more. I’m sure every time I disappointed her she gave me an excuse or said I would do better. She hoped I would end up rising to her expectations but I doubt I ever did or ever will.

I made similar excuses for the person I ended up cutting out of my life. For over two years I said this person would grow into a person I could respect and stay in love with. Then I realized I was deceiving myself. Not until the breath was being suffocated out of me in this friendship did I realize that the only way for me to stay whole would be for me to cut that person out of my life completely.

I am much happier for it.

Some people come into your life when you need them. And when that need is no longer there that person no longer has a place in your life. It sounds cruel but it really isn’t.

A while back I was told that there are three kinds of friends: 1. Those who come into your life and stay forever, 2. Those who come and take part in helping you become who you are and then leave when no longer needed or when their deed is done and I can’t remember what the third kind is (anyone know/remember?).  

My point is that to my friend I was the second type of friend for her. She needed me at a certain time and that time passed and so our friendship was no longer able to survive and so apparently is the case true vise versa.  And the person I ended up cutting out of my life was a #2 friend as well. 

Indeed we grow and (hopefully) become better people from the people we come across and the experiences we go through with them.


3 Responses to “Finally: Understanding”

  1. […] Dragonsvamp the Lordess of Death With a Frozen Heart and a Soul on Fire « Finally: Understanding […]

  2. the third kind is a seasonal friend!
    I know what you mean, and it really hurts-but once you except it- it just works out.. And friend that you think were the #2 type turn out to be #3 friends etc… I love that saying. It got me through some rough times!

  3. […] I know it can be devastating when a friend (a very extremely close friend) cuts you out of her life. In the beginning when my friend cut me out of her life I didn’t know what to do with myself. […]

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