Archive for the life experiences Category

Apartment Hunting

Posted in Home Sweet Home, life experiences, Michigan with tags , , , on Friday, July 10, 2009 by dragonsvamp

In about a month, my sister will be moving in with me. This not only means that I will have to change my life around so that we can become roommates. I’ve had two years of living on my own, so you bet it’s going to be tough getting used to having another person in the house, having another person to take into consideration, having another person to compromise with, having another person to talk to, to laugh with, to go shopping and out to movies with.

It’s a great feeling and a very unwelcome one at the same time. One moment I’m thrilled to have my sister come live with me and the other moment I dread it. It’s odd being able to feel two extremes concerning the same thing. But in the end it’ll be a novel experience that will hopefully have more ups then downs.

Now for me and my sister to get comfortable, I need to decide whether we can bear living in a one bedroom apartment for a few months before moving or if I should move into a two bedroom apartment right around the time she moves in.

As everything, there are pros and cons to both points. Let’s look at the pros of staying in the one bedroom apartment for a few months before moving out:

1. Save money: I’d be able to afford the apartment without any strains on my fincances and without the need to make my sister help me out with rent just yet. This will help her get situated and get a job before having to stress about that. I had that help the first couple of months I was on my own and I’d love to provide that help to her as she gets accustomed to living on her own as well.

2. Less pressure: Since I know that I didn’t get as big a raise for this coming year as I did for last year, I’m going to have a little more pressure on myself if I move into a bigger apartment. Waiting a few months before moving, will definitely lessen the stress on me and being able to afford the things I’m used to without having to (going on to #3) cut back.

3. Not having to cut back: To be honest, I’ve gotten accustomed to a lifestyle that will probably need to see some cutbacks if I decide to move into a bigger apartment. Now this isn’t the case if my sister gets a job right away but I’m not betting on that nor am I taking it into consideration. Like I said above, I want to be able to help her out as I was helped out. It means a lot to me the amount of help and support I had when I moved out on my own and I want to do that for my sister.

Now the pros for moving into a bigger place:

1. Space: Having enough space for both of us to feel comfortable, is vital if we’re going to be able to get along. Living in a one bedroom apartment (even though my sister is willing to sleep on the couch for a little while) is just not enough for us. I’ve gotten used to having a whole apartment to myself, and I’m sure she doesn’t want to end up in a similar situation that she came from. Growing up we always had two kids a room- I know I can’t do that anymore and I’m sure she needs her own private space to call hers. A two bedroom would be perfect for us.

2. Comfort and Convenience: The area I live in right now is not a place I feel really comfortable in. It’s pretty safe but it just doesn’t feel homey or as homey as I’d like it to be. I have to make a couple of sacrifices living in my apartment. The first is not having my own washer and dryer. I don’t want to have to deal with that anymore than I have to and it’s just going to be so inconvenient having to carry twice the amount of laundry around to get it done. Moving into another apartment lets me put the criteria of having hookups for a washer and dryer and it’s easier to find in larger apartments. The second is being more comfortable in the apartment I’m living in. I only really moved into the apartment I live in right now because it was the cheapest thing out there. Don’t get me wrong. It’s a decent apartment, but it’s not anywhere near ‘home’. I moved in with the mindset that I wouldn’t be staying for long.

3. Pets: I’m the kind of person who loves animals. I need pets. I already found two cats that I want and that are on hold for me (in case I decide to move) and the place I live in right now doesn’t allow any pets. A bigger apartment will be great for having pets. I also want to get a pet snake- and that’s something I’d be able to get if I moved out.

Those are the three top pros of staying or moving and I really needed to just write it all out (and talk to a couple people) to realize that the pros of moving have a more impact on me than the pros of staying where I am for a little longer. In the end, I’ll be moving anyways so why not decide to now?

Also, I’ve already seen a two bedroom condo that is owned by my hair dresser and oh my God. It’s perfect for what I want. It’s 15 minutes away from work and from the University. It’s got two floors and a great amount of space that would be perfect for me and my sister and our pets. I love the condo, the location, and the person who owns it. And writing all this out has helped me realize that in the end it’s a really good deal. Last month while I was getting my hair cut, we talked about my sister moving in with me and having my hair dresser’s tenants leaving. She told me how much she’d be asking for her place and when I got to see the apartment she offered it for a little cheaper, I would hope because she feels really comfortable with me moving in.

I know for a fact it’s not because she won’t find tenants for her asking price (which is relatively low for a place like that) because there’s always people who want to rent and I doubt she’d have a hard time finding someone to pay the price she’s asking for it.

I need to let her know my decision tomorrow. Hopefully, I’ll be making the right choice after sleeping on it.

Wish me luck!

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Never Gonna Win

Posted in life experiences, Michigan, University in America with tags , , , , on Sunday, November 23, 2008 by dragonsvamp

Apparently, I must be the only exception when it comes to good grades, studying and the relationship they have.  It’s common knowledge that the more you study for a cours the more likely you are to do well- right?

So why am I freaking doing worse?

Two examples:

1. Calculus: Exam one came and went, I didn’t study much for it. Crammed like hell about ten minutes before the exam began and I passed the test.  Exam two came up and I took half a day off of work to study for it. I went straight to the library and studied for about four hours before the test and felt very good about it. I failed said exam. And not just failed, I got 20 points less on it than I did on the first exam. So it wasn’t a barely fail. It was a major fail.

2. Biology: Ok so I “bomb” the first exam and quiz. I get better on my quizzes because I’m able to study a little bit more for them. Don’t do well on my second exam but the time I had planned to study for it got majorly screwed up so I only had about twenty minutes before the exam to cram. Still passed both exams. Of course I didn’t do wonderfully on them, but I did enough to pass and have a C average in the class.  Last Friday I had the third exam, I literally had all day to prepare for the exam and I did. I felt very good going into the exam and even left feeling like I’d done so much better than I had on the first two exams. I wasn’t rushed and I felt I’d retained enough of the information this time to do well. I just checked on my grades today and found out that I barely, just barely, passed the third exam. In other words out of the three exams this is my worst grade. Additionally, the past two quiz grades were horrible.

Of course I’m sailing through my two other classes with a most definite A in both but those come so naturally to me that I don’t even need to study much for them. And whatever studying I do have to do comes easily to me.

So am I just weird and an exception to the general rule? Or am I doing something wrong here? Anything wrong with the equation? 

*shrugs* I should ask my calculus professor.

And so life goes on…

Posted in Goals, life experiences with tags , , on Tuesday, November 11, 2008 by dragonsvamp

There is one lesson in life a person will realize at some point. If no other lesson is learned this one is the one I would bet money on.

I have been extremely busy since my decision to move on with my life and leave a person that used to be very important to me.  Besides it being a very good decision, it indirectly affected my views on the events that have occurred thus far.

My pursuit in changing my status at the university of Michigan from an out of state resident to an instate resident has been fruitless. Every semester I hope and every semester I am disappointed. Though I’ve been in Michigan for over a year now and pay resident taxes and have a full time job (and the list can go on) apparently it still doesn’t count towards the picky board of residency at the university. I’ve decided that, since they don’t want to give me what is rightfully mine (based on their criteria) then I don’t want to keep giving my- much too expensive as it is- tuition to an institute that will ambiguously  tell me that I’m not ‘permanent’ enough for them.  Well I satisfy their criteria and therefore should be considered ‘permanent’ and yet they tell me I still don’t demonstrate. Seriously, how permanent does permanent get?

So what am I going to do now? Well I’ll most definitely not completely quit school. I’ll just wait and keep applying until I do get residency. After that we’ll talk school.  For now I’ve got a lot to straighten out.

First, I’m working on complete in-dependancy. That will start as soon as this semester is over. This semester I had to end up getting a scholarship that I would rather do without (long story). Anyways, this means working more so I can save more money to put towards a college education where I can actually focus on it instead of have my focus divided so much between work and college. I hate not being able to give my education the time and effort it deserves. And right now I’m putting too much money and not enough time into it. And therefore, I’m not getting as much as I should out of it.

I know though that just having my full time job at the school I work at is definately not going to be enough for me to keep boredom away (remember there’s nothing going on in the area I live here in Michigan!) So, I need to find a part time job to keep me occupied and to be able to put the money desired aside. I found the perfect one. I applied and hope to hear from the library soon.  Yup working at the public library will be an amazing experience.  Even if I don’t get this job, I’ll keep trying to find something- there’s no quitting.

And to be able to commute (to work, work and home) without any trouble means that I must start thinking of getting another car. Ok I’ve been thinking about it for a while now, but had it on the back burner for much too long. It now decided to make itself heard.  I know from last winter how much I had to spend to fix my current car and I don’t really want to deal with that this winter.

And winter has truly decided to show itself already. It’s freezing here. And before I know it, it will be snowing and sticking. So what to get? A used car without knowing its exact history or a new one that costs and arm and a leg? After much thought and research, I’ve decided to check out a Nissan Versa at the dealer. If everything works out I’ll be having a spankin’ new car by the end of the month. If not then I’ll keep my search up.

This only means more worry. Making sure that all payments are accounted for. That means tightening of the belt too. But I can do it. Just like I was able to get myself out of a country I couldn’t stand. Just like I was able to prove to myself that I needed to only depend on myself (wa tab3an Allah). I can do this.

So pray that I get this job at the library. I’m so excited and nervous. I know I fit the description perfectly so lets hope they think so too. And from there we’ll see how life unfolds.

Because one day it will hit you…

No matter what: life moves on. No matter what.

Devastated

Posted in cut out, life experiences with tags on Sunday, September 28, 2008 by dragonsvamp

I know it can be devastating when a friend (a very extremely close friend) cuts you out of her life. In the beginning when my friend cut me out of her life I didn’t know what to do with myself. I felt alone. I felt hurt. I felt violated and needless to say more than devastated.  I felt worthless and helpless. I didn’t know how I would go on (yes dramatic I know but that’s honestly how it felt).

Of course I had other friends that tried their best to help me out and keep me from becoming too depressed.  Though at the time it helped very little but now I realize that if I didn’t have those friends around me I would have probably done a few very foolish things I would end up regretting.  

It didn’t help matters that I was within more than enough close proximity with this friend. We lived near one another and mixed with the same general crowd.  It hurt to see her at the other end of a room/building we were in. 

I felt lost.  I didn’t understand why she had cut me out of her life. And though now I understand and can be charged with the same crime (of cutting someone who cared deeply for me out of my own life) it still hurts.  I know we are both probably better off not being close and barely associating with one another but it sure does still hurt very much to lay eyes on her more or less talk to her.  It’s like the wall that now separates us is so foreign to me I’d rather not have anything to do with her or remind me of her than have to see it between us.

I know that we will never have what we had.  Even if we could, I don’t think I would want it.  I couldn’t stand disappointing her anymore than I already have and I know if we rekindled our friendship I would most assuredly do so (disappoint her I mean).  And I’m sure this ‘foreign wall’ that separates us now is much too strong for either of us to completely destroy. It’s as if we’re on two different planes of reality. Ones that will never meet again. At one point they did but then they split paths and went in completely separate directions.

Almost a year later, now, I understand, have come to terms, and have accepted all this. For all you who are going through a similar experience of being cut out of someone’s life I assure you one day you’ll understand why it happened.  You may not like it but you’ll realize it was most probably for the best.

As the saying goes: When God shuts a door He opens up a window somewhere.

Make sure to find that window.

A Reason, A Season, A Lifetime: Which?

Posted in life experiences with tags , on Saturday, September 27, 2008 by dragonsvamp

I couldn’t remember the exact way my friend had put it. So I decided to get the help of some of my friends (thanks you know who you are!) and found it. Don’t know who wrote it or said it or how it came to be but here’s what my previous post was referring to:

 

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person.
When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you
have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with
guidance and support,
to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a
godsend and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled,
their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons,
things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson,
love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other
relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Finally: Understanding

Posted in cut out, life experiences with tags , , on Friday, September 26, 2008 by dragonsvamp

Almost a year ago a very close and dear friend of mine cut me out of her life. Completely. She didn’t want to talk to me or hear from me.  I couldn’t understand. What had I done that was so bad that could cause what we had to completely fall apart? And not only fall apart but cause the person who I knew I could confide in with anything not ever want to talk to me again? 

I didn’t understand and wouldn’t for almost a year.

I recently have done the same to a once very close and dear friend of mine. A person I was willing to create a life with.  A person I loved.

Now I realize why my first friend cut me out of her life.  I was suffocating her- our friendship suffocated her. Until she could handle it no more. I’m sure every time I disappointed her she gave me an excuse or said I would do better. She hoped I would end up rising to her expectations but I doubt I ever did or ever will.

I made similar excuses for the person I ended up cutting out of my life. For over two years I said this person would grow into a person I could respect and stay in love with. Then I realized I was deceiving myself. Not until the breath was being suffocated out of me in this friendship did I realize that the only way for me to stay whole would be for me to cut that person out of my life completely.

I am much happier for it.

Some people come into your life when you need them. And when that need is no longer there that person no longer has a place in your life. It sounds cruel but it really isn’t.

A while back I was told that there are three kinds of friends: 1. Those who come into your life and stay forever, 2. Those who come and take part in helping you become who you are and then leave when no longer needed or when their deed is done and I can’t remember what the third kind is (anyone know/remember?).  

My point is that to my friend I was the second type of friend for her. She needed me at a certain time and that time passed and so our friendship was no longer able to survive and so apparently is the case true vise versa.  And the person I ended up cutting out of my life was a #2 friend as well. 

Indeed we grow and (hopefully) become better people from the people we come across and the experiences we go through with them.